Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Monday, March 21, 2016

4 Childhood Experiences You Must Release To Move Forward


Studies on the human mind have proven that as a child, your mind is like a sponge. Everything you see, hear, encounter and experience gets absorbed deep in your subconscious mind, and continues to influence you from behind the scenes for much of your life.
This subconscious influence can be either a blessing or a burden, depending on how it drives your thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
The ones that cause unwanted emotions like fear, self-doubt and negativity should be scrubbed from your subconscious mind - and the first step to achieving that is knowing exactly what childhood experiences are adversely affecting you and why.
Here are four of the most common types of childhood experiences you must release to move forward with your life:

1. Moments of uncontrollable, paralyzing fear

Fear is a natural part of growing up. As children, we fear speaking on stage. We fear failing school exams. We fear asking out a potential prom date. We fear standing up to the school bully.
For most of us, that fear was validated when we failed at certain tasks or challenges - and the consequences left us embarrassed, unworthy and doubtful of our own abilities.
For some of us, that fear has solidified into a suit of armor we've carried into adulthood; an excuse to avoid taking risks or explore beyond our comfort zones.
Be mindful that our purpose in life is to grow; and fear is a necessary ingredient towards that growth. Even award-winning performers like Adele still get fearfully nervous on stage, but that doesn't stop them from stepping up time and time again.
And as George R.R. Martin says, “The only time a person can be truly brave is by first facing a fearful situation - and tackling it head-on anyway.”

2. Situations where procrastination paid off (in the short term)

Our brains are hardwired to shield us from harm - which is good when you're stepping aside to avoid a falling tree; but not so good when your brain convinces you to stay put, sit still, and not do today what you can do tomorrow.
As children, we quickly begin to encounter situations where procrastination pumps us up with a (short-term) high.
Skipping homework to play video games is fun. Staying up a few extra hours past bedtime is nice. And mowing the lawn tomorrow so you can go play basketball today, sounds like a great idea.
Sure, just like smoking and eating unhealthy food, there are consequences to your temporary high - but once you're addicted to procrastination, pushing them to the back of your mind becomes second nature.
What makes procrastination even more damaging is that as you get older, the stakes get higher. Your career, finances and health all require your immediate attention, and sometimes holding off on an important task for even just a few days is enough for everything to come crashing down.
So don't procrastinate on shaking off your procrastination habit: respect yourself, your time and your life by treating it with the urgency it deserves.

3. Inability to find a pursuit, skill or purpose that made your heart sing

You probably remember at least a few people from your childhood who pursued a hobby or skill, like dancing, playing a musical instrument or a sport, and went on to turn that pursuit into a successful lifelong career.
Most of us, however, tend to drift away from the paths we explored as children, if we had the opportunity to explore any in the first place.
Instead, we follow what's available and convenient, sacrificing the discovery or pursuit of what truly fulfills us on a deeper level.
Then, as the bills, responsibilities and deadlines of adulthood stack up, we completely sideline any notion of honoring our passions; instead, we settle for admiring other people's passion-driven achievements.
But, as the German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel said, "Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion."
On your deathbed, a passionless life will be one of your biggest regrets. So remember that honoring yours is equally as, or even more important than, wealth and professional stability.

4. Moments of self-doubt caused by judgmental parents and role models

From our grades to our fashion sense, it's normal for our parents, mentors, teachers and role models to act judgmentally towards us as we're growing up.
This behavior often boils down to a well-meaning protective streak that manifests as excessive scrutiny on our actions, decisions and academic performance.
Unfortunately, being constantly put under a microscope can manifest a sense of unease and nervousness each time you're faced with a decision that should be yours and yours alone to make.
"What will they think?" and, "Will I let them down?" are common questions you'll ask yourself when you're plagued by the self-doubt of excessive judgment.
To overcome this block, it's crucial that you reinforce the understanding that you are the captain of your own ship, and that nobody but you has the right to be your own harshest critic.
While it is, of course, admirable to make your parents and mentors happy, your own happiness comes before anything else - and those who truly love you must remember this fact.

Now that you're familiar with the 4 most common damaging childhood experiences... 
It's crucial to know which one is affecting you most.

The tricky thing is, because these experiences exist in your subconscious mind, it's hard to figure this out by yourself - in fact, the truth may be the complete opposite of what you think.
That's why our friends at Mind Movies have designed a FREE and powerfully accurate 30-second quiz that, through a series of carefully arranged questions, predicts the no. 1 childhood experience that is most damaging to your career, finances and life.
(Or as they call it, your Negative Childhood Imprint.)

Upon taking the quiz, you'll receive a personalized video report detailing your results, plus detailed action steps for erasing this Negative Childhood Imprint from your mind:

Friday, July 31, 2015

Believe In The Possibilities Of Your Power



Who among us has not followed through with something we REALLY wanted to do because we didn't believe we could do it?

Why wouldn't you believe in yourself? Look how good you are at believing in your friends, your spouse, your kids.....

When it comes to you, it's different, isn't it? Let's say you have taken to pedaling your bike around the neighborhood after dinner, enjoying the outdoors and getting a bit of exercise. A friend tells you about someone completing a cross-country ride on their bicycle. You say, "I would LOVE to do that, but I'd never be able ride that far." Here's what's racing through your mind-

  • what if I fail
  • what if I actually did it
  • big things like that are for other people, not me
  • people would think I'm crazy
  • no one else believes I could do this either


"When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt."
Honore de Balzac




Now What?

Whether you think so or not, you have accomplished things in your life! Think about the things you've completed that you're proud of. how did you feel when you were in the beginning stages? 

You notice by starting to do what you can do at the time, celebrating milestones (no matter how small), and keeping your vision focused on your end result, you gain confidence.  The more you do, the more you can do. You get used to feeling that you can do these things that once seemed out of reach. 

You are more POWERFUL than you believed was possible!




How Do I Do This?

  • keep company with people that support you
  • visualize your success
  • make a list of positive characteristics you have 
  • trust yourself
  • keep trying, don't give up

Now get on your bike and ride!


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What's happening with me this week-

Well........
Wisdom of Midlife Women 2 Kindle Book

Register for VIP notice for 8/25 release of
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That's right! I am now a published author :-)

I am honored to have been included in this wonderful collaboration of inspiring women sharing their stories.  

This is a great example of believing in yourself. I thought this was for other people, not me. I was afraid-intimidated, maybe? But I went for it. I trusted myself, I visualized it, and I had great support.  



Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Decision To Change



What happens when you think of changing something?  For lots of folks, change is resisted unless they are the initiator of the change.  We are comfortable in our routines, our homes, our lives.  Yet often, we wish for something "better".

What stops us from doing what we know will make things better? I believe the biggest thing that stops us is fear.  What are we afraid of?  The unknown?  Ourselves?  What someone else may think?  When it really comes down to it, YOU are the one who has to live in your body, with yourself, 24/7.  YOU are the one who feels your feelings, whether you express them outwardly or not. YOU are the one who know what really deep down inside will make you happy.  Why would you want to live your life unhappy when you have all you need inside you to live a happy life?  Fear. The unknown is scary, but my gosh, look at people who have stepped into the unknown, bowled over the fear, and are now much happier for it!  You probably know at least a couple people who have worked through something they were afraid of doing and are now SO glad they did it.

How do you make a decision to change?  You just do it. Make the decision.  As soon as you do, you'll probably feel some relief that you MADE the decision, and at the same time will be flooded with "yeah buts".
Yeah, but if I change, they won't like me anymore.
Yeah but if I change, someone else may have to do more work.
Yeah, but if I change, they will be angry with me.

Think about this.  What would REALLY make you happy?  There is no law that says you have to be miserable so that someone else can be happy.  It's nice to think of others, but remember, you are not at your best for them unless you are at peace with yourself.  Start by making "small" decisions-things that are on a smaller scale, but still as they change will make you happier.  As you make each small change, you'll notice your confidence building and you'll become a little more daring and adventurous in making change.  I do recommend a book by Susan Jeffers, called "Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway".

I have made many decisions to change over the past several years that were scary at the time, but once I was on the other side of that decision, was so glad I made up my mind to do it.  As they say, the one thing that's constant is change.  There are things I am in the process of changing now that are super scary to me!  I am keeping the faith that once I'm on the other side of the changes that are happening now, I will be feeling much happier and peaceful.

If you feel so inclined, comment about your experience with a change you've made that you were afraid of, but you powered through!
I also have a forum on my website Attract Your Desires that you're welcome to post in about many subjects!

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What's happening with me this week?
This past weekend I went to a Holistic Healing Expo.  We only get them twice a year here, so I make sure to go-I love it!  I had a reading from a very powerful reader I know.  She confirmed some things my intuition had already told me-things I am trying to change and am afraid to do!  I know (and she confirmed) that once I can get this change completed, I will be so much happier!  I am certainly taking my own advice and taking small steps through this.